


Follow My Heart

by DaniJayNel



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon verse, Clexa, F/F, Oneshot, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 10:27:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3933301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniJayNel/pseuds/DaniJayNel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke has been keeping something important from Lexa, and when the Commander makes a hasty visit to Camp Jaha at the word that Clarke is ill, she realizes that she can't keep it hidden forever. Lexa has a right to know. But will Lexa want to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Follow My Heart

Of one thing she was absolutely certain: Lexa would not be happy. Clarke hadn’t intended for this to happen. The fact that it was happening at all was pretty much impossible, but it was, and as she bent over a bucket to puke up the emptiness in her stomach, she regretted every decision she had ever made. Raven was seated on the bed beside her, wiping Clarke’s sweaty face with a cool cloth once the blonde was done retching again. She cringed, but didn’t comment on Clarke’s dishevelled, gross appearance.

“How are you feeling?” Raven asked delicately. She watched Clarke with concern.

“Like I was run over by a pack of grounders,” Clarke snapped. “How do you think?”

Raven sighed and dumped the cloth back into the bowl of water nearby. “Don’t take it out on me,” Raven said. “Lexa is the one that did this to you.”

“Don’t you dare tell her.”

“I won’t,” Raven snapped back. She saw Clarke’s face contort in pain and softened her tone. “I know that this must be difficult for you, but I think that you need to tell her.”

Clarke laughed. “Tell her? Really?”

“She has a right to know.”

“Raven, I don’t even know what to do about this myself. How in the hell is Lexa going to handle it?”

“Like the strong woman she is,” Raven argued. She did not like having to defend Lexa of all people, but Clarke was being too stubborn and she needed to say _something_ that would break the blonde’s resolve. “She’s already heading down here from TonDC,” Raven admitted.

“What?” Clarke shot up. She was suddenly too angry to feel the lurching of her stomach at the quick movement. “Who told her?!”

“No one! Geez, calm down Princess.”

“I did,” Octavia entered the room, wearing her usual grounder outfit with smudges of blood and mud on her face. “But I didn’t give details. I only told her that you’re sick, and you need her.”

Clarke glared daggers. “Why?”

“Because, Clarke,” Octavia exclaimed. “I care about you! Stop being such a dumbass and talk to Lexa about this. The both of you need to decide what to do, and soon.”

Clarke groaned as another cramp hit her and she curled into a ball on her side. “I’m sorry. I’m taking this out on everyone when I shouldn’t. I just feel so awful.”

Both Raven and Octavia softened. They shared a look and then joined their blonde friend on the bed to give her comfort.

“How about now?” Octavia asked, grinning.

Clarke managed to smile, and was grateful for their comfort. But then another cramp hit and she hastily reached for a bucket. “Oh god, I hate Lexa so much right now.”

XxX

She knew that Clarke was sick, but not with what. Even as she tried to tell herself that this was a strategic move, travelling down to Camp Jaha to see the Sky Leader, she knew that wasn’t the full reason. Keeping the alliance with Clarke was vitally important. But so was making sure that Clarke was alright. Lexa couldn’t stop thinking of the different illnesses that existed, from drinking certain water or eating certain poisonous fruits, and then what it took to cure them. The moment she saw Clarke she would know what ailed her. She only hoped that she could do something to help.

Camp Jaha hadn’t been expecting her, so Lexa had to wait for a moment before Kane and Abby left the ship and walked down to the gate. Guards aimed their guns at Lexa’s warriors, but the brunette ignored the threat. She kept her head high, jaw stuck out. They would not intimidate her—and with the way the guards flicked their eyes about, _she_ was the one intimidating _them._

“Commander,” Kane welcomed, smiling politely and gesturing for the guards to lower their guns. “What brings you here unannounced?”

Lexa squared her shoulders even further and met the man’s gaze. “Word reached TonDC that Clarke is ill. I wish to visit her as an act of good faith.”

Abby lifted a brow, clearly not as believing as Kane was, but she didn’t provide an argument—for once.

“That’s very nice of you,” Kane told her.

Indra snorted to Lexa’s right and the Commander turned to glare. Indra schooled her expression and pretended that she hadn’t made the noise, and then the gates opened and Lexa only was ushered inside.

“She’s in her room,” Kane explained. “She won’t let us examine her, so we aren’t sure what’s wrong. She says it’s nothing to worry about, but…” he grew silent and watched their feet as they walked, and then when they reached the ship he lifted his head and regarded Lexa seriously. “Maybe you can convince her to let Abby have a look at her. She listens to you.”

Lexa felt an amused grin tug at her lips. _No, she argues with me more than she listens to me, and sometimes I am the one listening to her,_ she thought, but she didn’t tell Kane this and simply nodded once before venturing into the fallen ship herself. She knew where Clarke’s room was, so she found it without difficulty, and the blonde was fast asleep on the bed when she stepped in through the automatic door.

“Heda,” Octavia quickly stood, dipping her head once in respect. “You’re here earlier than expected.”

Lexa nodded once in acknowledgment. “I rode as soon as I got word. What is wrong with her?”

Octavia grimaced, like the question had been expected and dreaded. Lexa knew that the former sky girl knew what Clarke had contracted, but it was clear that she wasn’t intent on telling. This, at least, meant that Clarke’s life wasn’t in any danger. So Lexa let it slide and waited until Octavia had hurried out of the room before she calmly went over to Clarke and looked down at her.

Clarke was peaceful as she slept. All the strength and pain and determination wasn’t there. What remained was peace and innocence, of which neither of them had anymore. But it was nice to see Clarke this way, and Lexa wasn’t about to wake her up. So she found a nearby chair and settled it beside Clarke’s bed, intent on waiting until she woke up. Her people would wonder why she was taking so long, but she would merely state that she and Clarke had spoken politics—not that anyone would believe it.

She settled in to wait, arms crossed over her chest, and never expected to dose off herself.

XxX

When Clarke woke she was no longer nauseous and the cramps had decided to leave her be. She felt immensely grateful, and thought that maybe she was even well enough to leave her room. But when she turned over in her bed she froze at the sight of Lexa fast asleep in the chair beside her bed.

“Lexa?”

It was a soft murmur, but apparently enough. Lexa shifted, eyebrows connecting, and then her eyes opened and she fixed Clarke with a stare. “Clarke,” she breathed. “How do you feel?”

Clarke swallowed. “Better now. You didn’t have to come all the way down here.” She sat up and dropped her feet to the floor. They were close now, enough to brush knees and share heat.

“Octavia said it was serious,” she explained. “Why would she lie?”

Clarke nibbled on her lip a moment. After her friends had told her to shove her stubbornness somewhere it wouldn’t bother anyone, she had taken time to really think before she’d fallen asleep. This did concern Lexa. If anything, Lexa had half the decision to make. It was not fair on either of them to continue keeping it a secret. Besides, the window of choice was quickly closing. If Clarke didn’t tell her now…

“She didn’t lie,” Clarke finally uttered. “It’s just… I’m not sick.”

“You look sick, Clarke,” Lexa argued. She scooted closer and reached out to push a lock of hair behind Clarke’s ear, brushing along her cheek when she pulled back. “Your skin is pale and you need to bathe.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “So in other words I stink?”

Lexa nodded only slightly. She was serious and stoic, even though Clarke could see the worry swimming in her eyes. It only really hit her then, that it must have taken the entire night to ride down to the camp, and that Lexa had probably not slept at all. _She did that just to see if I’m okay?_

Clarke’s chest warmed. _That’s it, I have to tell her._

“Lexa…”

Lexa stiffened and the tone but softened her gaze. “Yes, Clarke?”

It was difficult to get the words out. But she had to. Clarke sucked in a deep, heavy breath, and then shuddered when she exhaled. Lexa simply watched her and waited, as patient and serious as ever. It would have been endearing if Clarke wasn’t close to hyperventilating.

“I’m not sick, Lexa.”

“So you already informed me. What is it then, Clarke?”

“Promise you won’t freak out?”

Lexa furrowed her brows and abandoned the chair to sit next to Clarke on the bed. She reached out, only slightly hesitant, and intertwined their fingers. “If I do, I will not let it show.”

Clarke snorted in laughter, covered her mouth with shock and then sighed. That’s right. Even if Lexa did find it upsetting, she wouldn’t yell. She would probably shut down and simply head back to TonDC. So Clarke finally told her.

“I’m pregnant.”

There was a definite pause, and Lexa’s face froze in place. Her grip slackened slightly, and her eyes flicked back and forth from Clarke’s, watching, studying. She breathed evenly, though, and then she eventually nodded once and withdrew her hand.

“How long?”

“Just a few weeks. I’m not really sure exactly.”

Lexa nodded, inhaled sharply and stood to pace the room. “And do you wish to remain with child?” she asked. It almost looked like she was afraid.

“I…” Clarke pressed a hand to her abdomen. All this time she had only really focused on what Lexa would want, how she would react and feel. She wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about it, or what she wanted to do. “I’m not sure.”

Once again, Lexa nodded. “Are you happy for it?” she paused her motions then, looked up and caught Clarke staring. The ghost of a smile sat on her lips.

“I…” Clarke really didn’t know. “Are you?”

At that Lexa moved closer and crouched down in front of the blonde, fitting between her legs. She gently took Clarke’s hands in her own, surprising the blonde, and then took a shaky breath. When she looked up, Clarke saw something akin to hope in her eyes, with excitement boiling somewhere behind. “Clarke,” she said slowly, clearly. “What we do about this is entirely up to you. It is your body and your decision.”

“It’s your baby, Lexa,” Clarke argued. “You have half the obligation.”

“But none of the physical responsibility,” Lexa shot back. She gently tapped Clarke’s wrist with her thumb. “What I mean is, that if you wish not to bring this child into life, I will stand by you.”

Clarke swallowed suddenly. Her throat clenched tight and a strange sickness filled her stomach, one that had nothing to do with her pregnancy. Up until then she hadn’t really considered the fact that this… this was a person, a small child that she and Lexa had accidentally created together. It hadn’t really seemed significant until then, until the words Lexa had used. Wish not to bring the child to life? Saying it like that sounded so cold. So heartless. “ _No_ ,” she gasped out. She was surprised by it.

“No?” Lexa asked. She carefully watched Clarke’s face, wanting to know what the blonde was thinking. “Clarke, I will stand by you with whatever you choose.”

“But what do _you_ want, Lexa?”

Lexa looked down at their hands. Her lips pressed together firmly, and Clarke recognized the signs of Lexa pulling away, building her walls back up again. “The smart thing to do, Clarke, would be to terminate it.” Before Clarke could comment in outrage, she continued. “I am the Commander. You know what happened to Costia. If this child comes to be, she will be a dagger over my head.”

For a very brief moment Clarke felt herself fade from the room, surrounded by a beautiful meadow, with yellow flowers and bright sunlight, with a little girl running about and laughing, Lexa chasing closely behind her until she caught her and they fell to the ground in a giggling heap. The little girl looked just like Lexa, but she was blonde.

“However,” Lexa continued, finally looking up again and bringing Clarke back to the present. “Since defeating most of my enemies, I have taken to listening to my heart a little more.” She allowed a very small smile. “So if it were up to me, Clarke, I would ask for you to have this child with me. I will look after her if you do not want to.”

“No,” Clarke uttered softly.

Lexa’s expression fell. “No?”

“No,” the blonde repeated. “We’ll do it together. We will bring this child into life and raise her together.”

Lexa’s eyes immediately brightened, and she stood to pull Clarke into her arms and spin her around once. Clarke laughed, not expecting the sudden action, least of all from her stoic lover.

Lexa kissed her then, all happiness and excitement, like everything that had happened in the past had simply been a dream, like she wasn’t a leader, like she and Clarke were just two women, excited to have their first child together.

The moment lasted a long while. Clarke wished for it to never end, because she knew that as soon as Lexa stepped out of the room, the Commander would be back and she wouldn’t allow herself to show the excitement and happiness that she felt.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked tentatively. They stood close together, foreheads pressed and lips swollen.

“Yes, Clarke?”

“I love you.”

Lexa hummed lightly, leaned in to kiss her once on the lips and then drew Clarke in for a soft, warm hug. “I do too, Clarke,” she said, very softly, very gently. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose I could call this a request. The main idea was for Clarke to fall pregnant from Lexa. For the sake of this fic let’s say that it’s possible, on the ground, for two women to conceive. It’s fiction, so it’s allowed. Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading ^^ and remember, you can totally send me any prompts if you want (preferably on my tumblr). I've got the Clexa fever and it's not going away for a while.


End file.
